End of a tough week

Posted by Joel on November 22nd, 2008 filed in General stuff

Hey all.  Saturday morning here and waiting to watch the Bucket Game today.  The kids are going to Grandma’s today/tonight as April and I are going to attend a Cancer Benefit Dinner this evening.  Looking forward to getting out of the house with her. 

Earlier, I mentioned that I’d elaborate on our findings from Tuesday.  My original tumor has returned where the esophagus meets the stomach.  It has metastasized to some lymph nodes in the upper chest area as well as having spread to my liver.  I wasn’t shocked to know that the cancer had returned as some of the underlying symptoms had returned as well in the past few weeks.  My large disappointment was to find out that it had spread.  The spreading of the disease is what the doctors were concerned about and what ultimately negated the option of surgery.  I’ve been asked why we waited 3 months from the August PET until now without having the surgery.  The best explanation, is that although the cancer was not detectable in August, the cancer seedlings were still present at that time.  We needed to wait to determine that those seedlings didn’t grow before we decided to undertake the surgery.  This surgery was not going to be a walk in the park as it had a 6 month recovery time.  Had we not waited, I would be just now recovering from that surgery physically and the seedlings would have still grown and the cancer would be exactly where it is now.  Ultimately, that would have actually prevented me from receiving any treatment moving forward as my body would not be strong enough to handle it.  As it was told to me, that if we found out in November that surgery isn’t an option, then in reality it wasn’t an option in August either. 

Scientifically speaking, the prognosis from here is not great.  The doctors do not believe they can cure this now. There are some clinical trials that are being recommended.  These will involve some new drugs as well as a lot of Chemotherapy.  There isn’t a huge track record with these drugs so we don’t really know what to expect.  They’ve had some success with these drugs with some other cancers.  The chemo will leave me tired and bald as a tick but will hopefully shrink the tumors to help allow the other drugs to do their thing.  These treatments will start either just before x-mas or right after the new year.  April and I are investigating some other alternatives at other clinics before we begin with these treatments just to make sure we haven’t left a stone unturned.

This week has been a trying experience to say the least.  I didn’t do much on Wednesday as the adrenaline didn’t really let me sleep much on Tuesday.  Thursday/Friday were much more normal as I went back to work and was glad that I did.  Getting in the truck and rolling down the road has always lifted my spirits even before I got sick.  Something about the sunshine I suppose even if I don’t get much accomplished.  The good news about Saturdays of tough weeks, is that it marks the end.  This one will be over and we’ll get onto starting a new week tomorrow.  And we never know what tomorrow will bring.  String enough tomorrows together and you’ve got a future.  Pretty simple actually when you think about it.

Nobody knows how any one’s body will react to any of the treatments.  The doctors certainly aren’t able to predict this.  This wouldn’t even be the first time that we surprised them with our results.  And while the science hasn’t figured out how to fix this yet, nobody on our team will give in and relinquish hope or the will to fight.  I’ve never quit anything in my life and see no reason to start a new trend here.  I would be able to accept losing a hard fought battle but will never be able to lay down and just take it.  That just isn’t in me.  Whatever treatment program ultimately gets put into play for us, we’ll be proactive and stare it down head on.  I’m not scared of the fight.  Will talk at you soon

Joel


4 Responses to “End of a tough week”

  1. Paula Cooprider Says:

    Joel and April,
    Hope your night out was good. (I guess you can tell that we didn’t have “a night out since I was home to read your entry.)
    Thanks for the update and for pointing out that this is the end of this very hard week and we can look forward to a new one. Keep up your fighting spirit. Talk to you soon. Paula

  2. Erin Carr Says:

    You are so uplifting. I feel so energized and encouraged by this new step. You’ve never been one to go with the flow, never been one to accept something that isn’t right, and like you said, you’ve never been a quitter.

    I keep going back to two things: why the remission in the first place and also the fact that these devastating statistics on esph cancer are based on 65-80 year olds who aren’t as fit and trim as yourself.

    As I re-think the remission diagnosis over and over, I can’t understand it’s meaning. But now that I’m reading your treatment options, I can’t help but think that you’ve “befuddled” the doctors once with miraculous healing so I can’t help but expect you to do it again.

    I do hope that you are as determined inside your mind as you are on the outside. You’ve always been a leader, always been more worried about the rest of the team than yourself, so I do hope that this fire in your belly stays strong.

    Love,
    Erin

  3. Jackie Steinhardt Says:

    You’ve been in our thoughts and prayers since the beginning; we are not about to let up either! So, hang tough like you are. How truly blessed you, April, your family and friends are to have each other.

    “We believe and pray with love in our hearts.”

    Kind regards,
    Jackie Steinhardt and family

  4. Mike McVey Says:

    Hey neighbor. Just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you. Holler at me if you need anything. Mike

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